Sunday, March 8, 2009

And That's how the fight was started

My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I replied "Dust".And that's how the fight was started...


A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happywith what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
'And that's how the fight was started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. Shesaid, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. 'I bought her a bathroom scale. 'And that's how the fight was started...


I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?
'And that's when the fight was started...


My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were inbed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?''No,' she answered.I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.
'And that's when the fight was started...


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplaceexpensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
'And that's when the fight was started...


I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer wouldmake her look better at night than the cold cream.
'And that's when the fight was started...


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my orderfirst. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?''Nah, she can order for herself.
'And that's when the fight was started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I keptstaring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearbytable.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinkingright after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't beensober since.''My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebratingthat long?
'And that's when the fight was started...

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